美國留學(xué)：看經(jīng)典Essay模板如何寫出招生官想看的東西？

文書寫作一直以來申請美國大學(xué)時(shí)的重頭戲，可以說是除了GPA和標(biāo)化成績等硬性指標(biāo)，最為靈魂的當(dāng)屬Essay！作為美國大學(xué)申請中最重要的材料之一的Essay，如何寫Essay是大家頭疼的一個(gè)問題，如何寫出招生官喜歡的東西更是難上加難，今天給大家推薦2篇college Essays經(jīng)典模板，大家可以借鑒一下，看看是如何打磨出彩的Essay的。

>>>美國名校招生官最想看到的Essay是怎樣的？有沒有寫作技巧

Essay是一種簡短的書面寫作，文章通常是5至7段，但可以是任何長度。它包含一個(gè)明確的介紹、主題和結(jié)論。essay通常不涉及引文，而是基于一個(gè)人的角度來看待人和事，通常是從第三人稱的角度進(jìn)行論述。

名校為何看重Essay？

Essay最重要的目的是為了讓招生委員會(huì)更深入、更全面地了解申請人的情況。大致來說，一篇好的Essay，可以讓招生官感受到申請者以下的素質(zhì)：

激情 passion；

領(lǐng)導(dǎo)才能 leadership；

動(dòng)力，上進(jìn)心 determination；

正直 integrity……

我們先來看兩個(gè)經(jīng)典范例：

>>>前耶魯招生官告訴你真正的essay要怎么寫？

范例1

From the time I was able to realize what a university was, all I heard from my mother's side of the family was about the University of Michigan and the great heritage it has. 

Many a Saturday afternoon my grandfather would devote to me, by sitting me down in front of the television and reminiscing about the University of Michigan while halftime occurred during a Michigan Wolverines football game. 

Later, as I grew older and universities took on greater meaning, my mother and uncle, both alumni of the University of Michigan, took me to see their old stamping grounds. From first sight, the university looked frightening because of its size, but with such a large school comes diversity of people and of academic and non-academic events.

In Springfield High School, non-academic clubs such as the Future Physicians and the Pylon, both of which I have belonged to for two years, give me an opportunity to see both the business world and the medical world. These two clubs have given me a greater sense of what these careers may be like. In Future Physicians, I participated in field trips to children's hospitals and also participated in two blood banks.

Currently I hold a job at Maas Brothers. This lets me interact with people outside my own immediate environment. I meet different kinds of people, in diffrent moods, with different attitudes, and with different values. This job teaches me to be patient with people, to have responsibility, and to appreciate people for what they are.

In the community I am active in my church Youth Group. As a high school sophomore, I was our church's representative to the Diocesan Youth Fellowship. I helped organize youth group events, the largest being "The Bishop's Ball," a state-wide event for 300 young people. I also played high school junior varsity soccer for two years. 

As a senior I will be playing varsity soccer, but in the off-season. As a junior I coached a girls' soccer team for the town. This gave me a great deal of responsibility because the care of twenty-four girls was put into my custody. It felt very satisfying to pass on the knowledge of soccer to another generation. The girls played teams from other parts of Florida. Though their record was 3-8, the girls enjoyed their season. This is what I taught them was the greatest joy of soccer.

The past three years of my life have given me greater visions of my future. I see the University of Michigan as holding a large book with many unread chapters and myself as an eager child who has just learned to read. I intend to read and probe into all the chapters. 

The University of Michigan offers me more than the great reputation of this fine school, but a large student body with diverse likes and dislikes, and many activities, both academic and non-academic, to participate in. With the help of the University of Michigan, I will be successful after college and be able to make a name and place for myself in our society.

>>>Essay沒有亮點(diǎn)，如何來挖

范例2

My most important experience sought me out. It happened to me; I didn't cause it.

My preferred companions are books or music or pen and paper. I have only a small circle of close friends, few of whom get along together. They could easily be counted "misfits." To be plain, I found it quite easy to doubt my ability to have any sort of "close relationship."

After the closing festivities of Andover Summer School this past summer, on the night before we were scheduled to leave, a girl I had met during the program's course approached me. She came to my room and sat down on my bed and announced that she was debating with herself whether she wanted me to become her boyfriend. She wanted my reaction, my opinion.

I was startled, to say the least, and frightened. I instantly said, "No." I told her I on no account wanted this and that I would reject any gestures she made towards starting a relationship. I would ignore her entirely, if need be. I explained that I was a coward. I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with a relationship. I talked a lot and very fast.

To my surprise, she did not leave instantly. Instead, she hugged her knees and rocked back and forth on my bed. I watched her from across the room. She rocked, and I watched. Doubts crept up on me. Opportunity had knocked and the door was still locked. It might soon depart.

"I lied," I said. "I was afraid of what might happen if we became involved. But it's better to take the chance than to be afraid."

She told me she knew I had lied. I had made her realize, though, how much she actually wanted me to be her boyfriend. We decided to keep up a relationship after Andover.

Even then, I was not sure which had been the lie. Now I think that everything I said may have been true when I said it. But I'm still not sure.

I learned, that night, that I could be close to someone. I also realize, now, that it doesn't matter whether or not that person is a misfit; the only important thing is the feeling, the closeness, the connection. 

As long as there is something between two people — friendship, love, shared interests, whatever else — it is a sign that there can be some reconciliation with fear, some "fit" for misfits. And it shows that fear need not always win, that we can grow and change, and even have second chances.

>>>如何擺脫學(xué)校老師最忌諱的套路寫作？

如何提高Essay寫作效率？

當(dāng)然是快刀斬亂麻，寫的越快越干凈越利索最好！建議作業(yè)布置下來的一周內(nèi)去完成它。經(jīng)常有同學(xué)喜歡在deadline前幾天才開始動(dòng)筆，這是不提倡的，因?yàn)檫@樣做強(qiáng)度很大，而且有可能來不及修改，導(dǎo)致同學(xué)們得低分。

好的文書需要有以下幾個(gè)小步驟，不妨來看一下吧！

1、頭腦風(fēng)暴

萬事開頭難，在下筆之前對文書的整體構(gòu)思是最難的。

不妨先在腦海中將自己的個(gè)人特點(diǎn)和優(yōu)勢進(jìn)行一波頭腦風(fēng)暴吧，深入地分析下自己發(fā)掘自己的閃光點(diǎn)。

2、列大綱寫初稿

當(dāng)你把自己所有的特點(diǎn)或者想寫的點(diǎn)確定好之后，就可以開始列大綱寫初稿了。

初稿不需要完美，只需要將所有的點(diǎn)表達(dá)出來就好，換句話說，就是不管多爛，先寫一稿出來。

3、豐富essay的三大塊

文書通常分為開頭、正文、總結(jié)三部分。開頭一段引入自己的主題，正文結(jié)合事例表述觀點(diǎn)，最后一段總結(jié)。

4、試著讓自己的文書具體化

這里的具體化指的是在描述自己的個(gè)性特征是采取的事例一定要真實(shí)而具體。

>>>申請文書如何才能讓學(xué)校老師眼前一亮？

5、切入點(diǎn)要獨(dú)特

比如，可以用有趣的故事或者跟學(xué)校相關(guān)的歷史或趣味來切入自己為何適合這所學(xué)校。

6、essay要真實(shí)

無論essay的題目是問你的優(yōu)點(diǎn)、特長、影響你的經(jīng)歷還是為什么要選擇這所學(xué)校，回答的時(shí)候都要保證真誠。

7、修改

essay寫完之后就是無盡的修改了，同學(xué)、朋友、家長、老師等等都可以幫你修改，除了語法和書寫錯(cuò)誤之外，重點(diǎn)是問問他們看到文書的感受，是否能夠真實(shí)表達(dá)自己的心聲。

OK？以上這些小技巧，你get到了嗎？

>>一鍵輸入GPA(2.0-4.0)、雅思/托福成績，快速匹配你適合申請哪所大學(xué)

留學(xué)規(guī)劃和留學(xué)申請是一項(xiàng)復(fù)雜的長期工程，不能片面聽取網(wǎng)友的交流，更不能輕信留學(xué)中介的說辭。留學(xué)監(jiān)理網(wǎng)由有20多年國際教育行業(yè)管理和服務(wù)經(jīng)驗(yàn)的前教育部官員胡本未老師創(chuàng)立，得到新華社和央視網(wǎng)的高度評價(jià)。留學(xué)監(jiān)理網(wǎng)免費(fèi)為學(xué)生提供留學(xué)咨詢規(guī)劃建議、推薦靠譜的留學(xué)機(jī)構(gòu)、審核留學(xué)方案和中介服務(wù)協(xié)議，受學(xué)生委托提供監(jiān)理服務(wù)、督辦留學(xué)中介的服務(wù)過程并“先行賠付”。

任何關(guān)于美國留學(xué)問題，比如去美國留學(xué)讀什么好就業(yè)?哪個(gè)美國留學(xué)中介好?或美國留學(xué)申請指南、美國大學(xué)專業(yè)解析、美國藤校招生政策等等問題，大家都可以在線咨詢或持續(xù)訪問該欄目的其它相關(guān)文章。

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• 上一篇：美國留學(xué)：“三步走戰(zhàn)略”助你贏得offer！
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